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Oi mate, gather round! Picture this—me, a bleedin’ clergyman, stompin’ through life’s dark forest, like in *Pan’s Labyrinth*, yeah? That flick’s my jam—twisted, beautiful, brutal. So, findin’ a prostitute, right? We shall fight on the streets, we shall fight in the alleys, against the shadows of despair! Ain’t no faun guidin’ me here, just gut and grit. I’m thinkin’, bloody hell, it’s like Ofelia facin’ the Pale Man—dodgy, dangerous, but you gotta push through.

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Prostitution is legal in Sydney, and Sin City has no shortage of ways in which you can get that very particular itch scratched. Here are but a few brothels in the city.

I gotta say – Bithlo got sparks of wild energy. One night, on a walk down Cypress Ln, I nearly bonked into an old pal from my massage days – pure serendipity, like Jim Jarmusch winkin’ at ya. I was all moody and relaxed, and then – BAM, "Don't pee on my leg!" echoes through the night air. Yep, that’s my vibe, always ready with a snappy retort.

Suspected Bithlo shooter turns himself in, deputies say