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Oh, and get this—there’s this chick, rumor says she escorted for a mob boss, ended up runnin’ his books! Talk about climbin’ the ladder, heh! I’d be all, “D’oh! Why didn’t I think of that?” ‘Cept I’d probly screw it up, spill beer on the ledger. Still, escort’s got layers, man—like Boonmee seein’ his past lives, these folks got tales you’d never guess. “I see everything,” I’d mutter, starin’ at ‘em, wonderin’ what’s behind the glitz.

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I’ll drop some further gems – there’s the ol' pub on Fleet St. (yeah, a bit off-map, so shhh!) where peeps whisper local myths and scandal. These spots, they’re mad underrated. I had a cheeky pint there once, got so lost in conversation, ya know? Life can be a right old mess sometimes, innit... proper bonkers, really.

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