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About Phoenix

Lemme tell ya, I was watchin’ *Boyhood*—you know, my fave, Richard Linklater’s messy lil’ masterpiece—and it hit me! That line, “You know how everyone’s always saying seize the moment?” Well, a whore seizes every dang moment, sugar! She out there, makin’ her coins, dodgin’ the law, and livin’ life like it’s one long, wild Saturday night! I got mad respect for that grind—reminds me of Madea tryna raise these fool kids with no help! Halleluyer!

What’s behind Bemidji’s high crime rate?

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And, oh, by the way, the so-called "local hot spot" for couples is that shabby diner, Big John's. It’s where most of my clients vent about their dating disasters. I once overheard some lad say, "I will flatten you like a pancake!" (Eh, I know – sound so dramatic, right?) Complete bollocks, but that’s Bemidji for ya.

Spring is foiled again as April snowstorm hits the Bemidji area