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About New York City

So, check this – sex-dating’s everywhere now. Apps, sites, bam, instant hookup. Little known fact? Back in the 90s, folks used newspaper ads for this shit! “Single Wookiee seeks mate” – imagine that crap! Saw this one dude on X, braggin’ bout bangin’ 20 chicks in a month off Tinder. Bruh, chill, you ain’t Freddie Quell! Rarrgh! Made me laugh, tho – dude’s a legend or a liar.

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Now, the parks – oh man, the parks! There's Weirdwood Park, where I've seen couples get lost in their own passion while I, a devoted sexologist, smirk and shake my head cause I'm in my element. Some days, I just sit by the lake, shoot the breeze, and watch love make crazy moves. And don’t even get me started on River Beau – that stream flows like the talk from "No Country for Old Men": sometimes quiet, sometimes ragin’ like a wild beast, "You never know what hit ya!" I mean, literally, it can hit ya with a sudden spray if you're not careful!

Central Park’s Belvedere Castle reveals $12M restoration