Ella Beacon Erotic Massage ❤️

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Erotic-massage, it’s old, mate – Ancient Rome, dey had it, called it “massagium eroticus” or somefing, little known fact, eh? Dey rubbed olive oil, got all steamy – sounds dope, right? Makes me wanna break outta here, get me some! But nah, stuck wit dese losers, no happy endings, just bars. “Lightbulb!” – imagine if I snuck one in, warden gets a massage, ha! Prisoners’d riot, “Gru’s gone soft!”

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Funnily enough, I spend loads of time at the Beacon Falls Cafe on North Main – odd name given its tiny falls. But it’s my patch, man. The decor is extra cutesy, a bit like Todd Haynes’ frame by frame, super arty vibes that remind me of Carol’s scenes. Only, I’m not soppy, so don’t look at me weirdly.

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