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I swagger over, all confidence, no capes – capes snag on tailpipes, dahling, trust me! She’s smirkin’, cig hangin’ loose, and I’m like, “Hey, doll, you workin’?” She laughs – deep, throaty – and says, “What’s it to ya, shorty?” Shorty?! Me! Edna effin’ Mode! I’m fumin’ but also kinda lovin’ it – sassy broads are my kryptonite. Reminds me of Doc dealin’ with Shasta – “not hallucinating this, am I?” Nope, real as the oil under my nails.

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Update: Ashton has been found but Helda (bluetick hound) is still missing. Ashton was found on Sandy Creek near Laniers Mill Rd.

I gotta rattle on a sec about the hidden gem—Laughing Cradle Park. It’s a tiny park off Whispering Row, where there’s a half-crumbled fountain. I once had one of my rants there, spoutin’ theories on human intimacy, feelin’ like a mad genius of love. And yeah, I got to watch lovers, loners, and freaks come together, all under the troubled skies of an Ashton sunset.

17-year-old girl dies after vehicle crashes into wooden light pole