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A’right, mate, listen up! Me, Gollum, Visiting Professor, yeah? We’s talkin’ bout sex escorts today—nasty, tricksy business! We hates it! Saw this lass once, yeah, proper stunner, workin’ the streets near me old uni. Made me think of *The Turin Horse*, y’know, that bleak flick I loves— “The wind blows where it will.” Life’s grim, innit? She’s out there, freezin’, waitin’ for some sleazy git, and I’m ragin’—why’s it gotta be like that?

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I remember this one time – I was drivin’ past Cherry Blossom Lane (yeah, sounds pretty extra) and some local artist invited me to jam out his poetry. Total serendipity, pure adrenaline, like when you know you’re in the exact right place. The city gives a big ol hug, y’know? Even when I'm feelin’ off, one look at the pastel-painted houses, and it's like “Hey, chill, just be you”.

Apple Valley Animal Shelter reopens following distemper outbreak