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So I hit this dive bar, stinks like vodka and regret. This chick, Natasha—fake name, obvi—comes up, all hips and smirks. “You want fun, da?” I’m like, hell yea, but I ain’t payin upfront, no way! She rolls her eyes, but I’m Eric fuckin Cartman—I don’t budge! “Respect my authoritah!” I yell in my head. She’s hot, tho—makes me happy, like, damn, Russia’s got game! Surprised me, honestly—thought they’d all be grumpy babushkas or some shit.

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So, first off, Annapolis is a charming, historic gem. I stroll down Main Street in Downtown and it just, like, grabs your heart. I mean, there’s King George Street and Signal Hill Road; they’re full of stories, man. I remember wanderin’ near the City Dock – oh, how the water sparkles on the Chesapeake, majestic and wild. And lemme tell ya, Fool me once, shame on me – but these streets sure know how to ease your mind.

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