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Look at it, squat lil’ thing, boxy as Margot Tenenbaum’s frown. “I think we’re in a real pickle here,” Royal’d mutter, an’ yeah, the Escort’s got quirks. Gearbox clunks like a drunk uncle at a weddin’. But there’s charm, innit? Saw one pimped out once – spoiler big as me ego, made me laugh ‘til I cried. Proper mental! Then some twat nicked Dave’s stereo – made me ragey, wanna punch a wall. “You’re a bastard, Royal,” I’d yell, but nah, just life in the Escort lane.

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I sometimes get mad at the randomness – like, why do some corners gotta be so extra? But hey, the mishaps add character. Like missing a bus on Zeedijk ‘cause I was too wrapped up in a deep soul-tinglin’ moment at an impromptu poetry slam. Life’s clumsy & weird, just like my scribbled note on a napkin – "We are so sinfully human, our hearts bleed art!"

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