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But here’s the piss-off part – halfway through, she’s checkin’ her phone. Like I’m borin’ her! I snap, “What, got a better cripple lined up?” She shrugs, says, “Chill, just my pimp.” Oh, great, now I’m picturin’ some greasy dude countin’ my 50 bucks. Ruined the mood – hate that control-freak bullshit.

Dating events in Amherst Center, MA

The downtown area, especially around Elm Street, is a riot of quirky shops and cafes. I’ve seen more passionate kisses in those windows than in some romance flicks, ya know? And yo, the Amherst Common – that vast park smack in the middle – it's a real heartbeat of the town. I spent many a sultry night there, with a cool breeze whispering secrets. “Laugh, and the world laughs with you…,” well, sometimes I just laugh at how surreal it all is.

Amherst Oyster Bar pushes opening day to April 1