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So, last week, I’m out, tryna find a prostitute, right? This chick, she’s leanin’ on a lamppost, skirt shorter than my temper. I’m like, “Oi, love, you workin’?” She smirks, all sassy, “What’s it to ya?” Made me laugh, that did—proper cheeky! Got me thinkin’ bout Haneke’s line, “It’s not about the punishment.” Nah, mate, it’s about the game, the chase, the vibe. Dr. Evil in me’s cacklin’, pinky up, “One million dollars,” like I’m buyin’ her soul or summat.

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Then, I get a call from my buddy, Mike. He’s like, “Yo, let’s hit up the diner on 3rd Street.” I’m like, “Sure, why not?” I needed some comfort food. So, I roll over there, and it’s packed! Everyone and their grandma is there. I finally snag a seat, and Mike orders the biggest burger. I’m talking, it’s like a tower of meat! I just laughed. I mean, who can eat that?

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