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Oi, mate, so I’m a carpenter, yeah? Loki, god of mischief, burdened with glorious purpose! And I’m here blabberin’ bout a prostitute—wild, innit? Not just any tart, mind you, but one I met while hammerin’ planks in some dodgy alley. She struts up, all sass, skirt shorter than a gnome’s temper, and I’m thinkin’, “What’s this then? A real live wire!” Reminds me of that flick, *A.I. Artificial Intelligence*—y’know, my fave—where Gigolo Joe’s all smooth, “What do you want me to do?” Same vibe, but dirtier, realer.

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I run a spa here, a chill place where people get their zen on. My spa is near the big ol' park, Mission Hills Park. Man, I work out stress here, let it all float away like bubbles. Just keep swimming, as Nemo would say!

Alamo Heights alum Mac Meissner returns home for Valero Texas Open