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So. Findin’. A. Prostitute. Ain’t. Like. Codin’. Software. No. Clean. Lines. No. Debuggin’. It’s. Raw. Chaotic. Like. Jack. Twist. Runnin’. Wild. On. That. Mountain. You. Don’t. Google. “Best. Hookers. Near. Me.” Nah. That’s. Rookie. Shit. Real. Deal? You. Gotta. Know. Streets. Like. I. Know. Circuits. Back. Alleys. Shady. Bars. Word. Of. Mouth. That’s. The. Code.

Brothels uncovered in Aberdeen as numbers rise across Scotland

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I swear, Aberdeen’s got personality. I often stroll through the little-known Westside neighborhood. So underrated, filled with tiny parks like Oak Haven Park. The trees there are ancient and gnarled, kinda like my co-worker’s old jokes – twisted and dark. Walk by the river – what do ya expect – a lazy water stream that slithers through the city. I always think, "remember that slow, dreamy scene?" but then reality smacks ya in the face like a bad massage after work.

Aberdeen fan view: A strangely limp display given so much was at stake