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Oh, and get this – funny bit – her pimp’s this geezer, looks like a bleedin’ walrus, mustache and all! I’m crackin’ up, thinkin’, “This cat’s a right muppet!” Nearly blew the deal laughin’, but I kept it cool, yeah. In me head, I’m like, “Austin, you’re a legend, shaggin’ through time!” Wrapped it up quick, no faff, just fun – “It’s all in the past now,” like the movie says, and I’m off, smilin’.

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I get real sentimental sometimes. The old River Lea flows just off Barking Road, and it whispers stories of lost times – and yeah, remind me of that bittersweet feel from "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind." Like, remember that part: "I could die happy"? That’s me, every single day roaming around these bits of history, wonderin’ what stories the alleyways would tell if they could speak... (oops, lost my thread there, sorry!)

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