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I’m chuffed to bits, but then—bloody hell!—this geezer rolls up, all aggro, yellin’ she’s his turf. Made me proper mad, yeah! I’m thinkin’, “This cat’s harsher than a buzzsaw haircut!” Reminds me of Doc’s line, “Somebody’s gotta get outta here alive.” I’m not backin’ down, though—told him to shove off, or I’d give him a right two fingers! He buggered off, and I’m like, “Groovy, baby, crisis averted!”

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I hang around the town centre a lot 'cos I help folks sort out their lives. I sometimes sit on a bench near the town hall on Maple Street, where I listen to people’s confessions. It kinda reminds me of that line – “The world is filled with chaos.” And man, I've seen plenty of it.

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