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Oi, mate, it’s me, Bond—James Bond, suave as hell, “shaken, not stirred.” So, I’m trackin’ down a prossie, yeah? Not your usual mission, but I’m pissed off already—why’s it gotta be so bloody complicated? I’m thinkin’ bout my fave flick, *Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives*, that trippy Thai masterpiece. “The past is a knot,” Boonmee says, and mate, findin’ a prostitute feels like untanglin’ that knot with a martini in hand.
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As the sun starts settlin’, I head back home, exhausted but happy. I think about how wild today was. From fish fryin’ to seal sightin’, and nearly losin’ my pigs to a bunch of kids. Peterhead, man, it’s a crazy place. But it’s home.
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