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So, I lean in—real close, y’know?—and I’m thinkin’, this guy’s got *snow on the roof*, like in my fave flick, *Let the Right One In*. That movie, dolls, it’s dark, it’s twisted—kinda like this convo! I says to him, “Listen, bub, ‘I’m not like the others,’” quotin’ sweet little Eli, that vampire kid. He blinks, confused—like, duh, no kiddin’, Fran! I ain’t no hooker-pimp!

Brothel madam and partner who forced women into prostitution across Scotland jailed

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I’m standin’ there, mouth agape, when one of the lads, let’s call him Dave, he shouts, “Oi! Swineherd! Wanna join us for a fish fry?” I’m like, “Sure, but I’m not eatin’ any of that!” I mean, come on, I’m a pig guy, not a fish guy. But the smell? Oh man, it was divine.

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