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About Bristol

Still, it ain’t all laughs. Surprised me, right, how she said some nights she’s knackered, proper done in. “I like to stand close to people”—that *Zodiac* line? She’s too close, mate, dodgin’ creeps and coppers. Reckon it’s a rush, though—keeps her ticker goin’. Me, I’d be shakin’ like a mod on a Vespa, but she’s cool as a cucumber, baby!

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Then, outta nowhere, I bump into my mate, Jimmy. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he’s goin’ on about how he saw a seal at the beach. “A seal, mate! Right there on the sand!” I’m like, “Yeah, right, Jimmy.” But he’s dead serious. So, we head down to the beach on the Esplanade. And lo and behold, there’s a seal! Just chillin’ like it owns the place. I’m laughin’ so hard, I nearly drop my pigs.

Peterhead barber brandished butterknives at men outside Wetherspoon