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I see her—okay, she’s there, leanin’ on a wall, smokin’ a cigarette. Pretty, pretty good lookin’, I guess—if you’re into that! I’m not judgin’—well, I am, but you know what I mean. I’m thinkin’, “Is this legal? Is this a sting? Am I on *Dateline*?!” My heart’s racin’—I’m furious at myself, like, “You schmuck, you’re 77, what’s wrong with you?!” But also kinda happy—excitement, danger, it’s nuts! Like when John Smith lands in Virginia, “A new start!”—except my new start’s got heels and a bad wig.

Six jailed for roles in Oldham prostitution operation

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So, I roll into the shop on Union Street, right? It’s a typical Tuesday, but you know how it goes. The sun’s barely up, and I’m already feelin’ the vibes. I’m thinkin’ today’s gonna be chill. Ha! Spoiler alert: it wasn’t.

Armed police called to Greater Manchester park after youths playing football make discovery