Hazel Matlock Whore ❤️

About London

What pisses me off? Hypocrites, man! Blokes judgin’ whores while sneakin’ round themselves—grotty sods. I’m all, “Let’s get it on, yeah!”—live and let live, baby. Happiest I’ve been? Met this bird once, swore she’d done every geezer in Soho—legend! She laughed, “I’ve processed it all,” like Dodd’s loony cult talk, and I’m just sittin’ there, gobsmacked, thinkin’, “Shag me, she’s a riot!”

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Next up, I get this old bloke, right? He’s got a walking stick and a grin like he just won the lottery. He’s all, “Young man, take me to the basement!” I’m like, “The basement? You sure?” But he’s insistent. So, down we go. Turns out, he’s just looking for the old coal cellar. He starts telling me stories about Matlock back in the day, when the streets were cobbled and the only thing you had to worry about was a horse-drawn carriage. I’m loving it!

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