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So, dig this—little known fact, swear down: back in Victorian times, prossies had secret codes, flashin handkerchiefs to signal punters. Wild, innit? Bet they’d laugh at us now, fumblin about like numpties. I’m thinkin, “Gordon, keep it sharp, don’t settle for slop!”—like Remy dodgin them crap chefs. Found this one bird eventually—fit, cheeky, knew her game. Made me grin, proper chuffed— “This is my moment!” I says, like that rat tastin soup.

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She’s like, “Oi, you! You still makin’ those stoves?” And I’m like, “Yeah, Mrs. J, still makin’ ‘em! You want one?” She just rolls her eyes and says, “I’d rather have a new kettle, dear.” Classic Mrs. Jenkins.

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