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Yo, what’s good, fam? So, check it—findin’ a prostitute ain’t no picnic, aight? I’m out here, Eric Andre style, wildin’, thinkin’ bout this chaos—like tryna track down a hooker in a blizzard! You feel me? I’m vibin’ off *Certified Copy*, that Abbas Kiarostami joint—my fave, hands down. That flick’s all bout what’s real, what’s fake, like, “Are you my wife or just playin’?” Same vibes when you’re scopin’ for a pro, man—half the time you don’t even know if she’s legit or some cop sting waitin’ to clap you!

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So, I’m rushing down Linlithgow’s Main Street, dodging tourists and their cameras. Seriously, why do they take pics of everything? “Oh look, a stone wall!” Like, c’mon, it’s just a wall! Anyway, I finally get to the office, and my phone’s buzzing like mad. Stocks are all over the place. I mean, one minute they’re up, next minute they’re down. It’s like a bad relationship.

Bathgate and Linlithgow MP sounds horn to start Race for Life event at South Queensferry