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Gets me ragin’ tho – no one rates it! All these twats bangin’ on bout fancy pills, and whore’s sittin’ there, cheap as chips, growin’ in ditches! Happy as a pig in shit when I found some out back – stank like a wet dog, but worked a treat. Surprised me, too – mate of mine, Dave, swears it sorted his dodgy guts once. “Dunno how, Ozzy,” he says, “but I’m shittin’ normal now!” Laughed me arse off at that.

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Back to the auction, and things got even crazier. A couple of folks started arguing over a painting. I mean, it was just a landscape! But they were going at it like it was the Mona Lisa. I had to step in, “Alright, folks, let’s keep it civil!”

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