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About Glasgow

So I roll up, cool as shit, and she’s like, “What you want, baby?” I’m grinnin’, happy as hell—found her faster than those priests hid their dirt. “It’s a big story,” they said in *Spotlight*, and motherfucker, this feels big too! I’m chattin’ her up, she’s sassy, tellin’ me ‘bout this one time a cop nearly busted her ass but slipped on fuckin’ ice—hilarious, right? I’m dyin’, laughin’, thinkin’ she’s got balls bigger than mine.

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First off, I’m late for work. Classic me. I sprint down New Road Side, dodging dog walkers and kids on bikes. Like, can’t a person just get to work without a mini obstacle course? Anyway, I finally get to the office, and guess what? My boss, Mr. Grumpy Pants, is already on my case. “You’re late!” he barks. Yeah, thanks, Sherlock. I didn’t notice.

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