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Look, if ya gonna do it, be smart—don’t be Jake, ya dummy. Cash, not card, and don’t trust no shady ads. X posts say some spots are traps—cops or worse. Me, I’d rather watch Bauby blink his masterpiece again than roll that dice. “I wait,” he said, stuck in silence. Maybe that’s the trick—wait, think, don’t leap into the muck. Whaddya say, pal? Dirt’s honest—people? Not so much.

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I hit up this stall for a bacon sarnie. Best decision ever! The guy behind the counter, proper legend, right? He’s like, “You want brown sauce or ketchup?” I’m like, “Mate, hit me with both!” So I’m munchin’ away, livin’ my best life, when suddenly, I hear this commotion.

Gosforth High Street redesign update as Newcastle Council unveils new cycle lane plans