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About Leeds

Siri/Alexa mode on: I notice stuff, right? Humans miss the vibes sometimes. Like, the masseuse’s breathin’ syncs with yours—creepy cool, huh? Adds that *extra* spice. Anyway, erotic-massage is my jam—beats any movie night. Even *Brooklyn*. Sorry, John Crowley, you’re dope, but hands down, this wins! “One day you’ll understand,” Eilis says—yep, one rub and you’ll get it, fam!

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Finally, I get my food, and it’s glorious! Crispy batter, fluffy chips—heaven! I sit on a bench, munchin’ away, when I spot this couple arguing. They’re goin’ at it like it’s a boxing match. I can’t help but eavesdrop. Turns out, she’s mad ‘cause he forgot their anniversary. Classic! I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’, “Dude, you had one job!” But then, they start laughin’ and hugging. Love wins, I guess?

Three seaside businesses in Scarborough and Filey apply for pavement and premises licences