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Favorite moment? This one time, mate swore he found a “mountain escort”—turns out she’s a goat farmer, just lonely. Laughed my ass off—classic bait’n’switch. “You’re not a virgin, are you?”—Ida vibes hittin’ hard, judgin’ his rookie move. Surprised me how chill she was, tho—offered us tea while we froze our nuts off. Made me happy, that raw human bit in the mess.

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So, I’m minding my own business, sharpening away, when this kid runs up to me. He’s got a fishing rod that looks like it’s been through a war. “Can ya fix this?” he asks. I’m like, “Mate, I sharpen knives, not rods!” But I can’t resist. I take a look, and it’s a mess. I mean, it’s practically a stick! But I give it a go. Kid’s eyes light up like it’s Christmas. I’m feelin’ like a hero for a sec.

Fatal Filey crash: Yorkshire police appeal for witnesses and dashcam footage after woman dies following a collision