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Heya doll, it’s me, Marilyn – breathless, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President.” – spillin’ the tea on prostitutes, ‘cause I’m the prison warden now, ha! So, I’m thinkin’ ‘bout them gals, y’know, like Satine from *Moulin Rouge!* – “The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.” Breaks my heart, it does! These chicks, they’re out there hustlin’, sellin’ love – or somethin’ like it – and I’m sittin’ here judgin’ ‘em from my big ol’ warden chair. Ain’t that a kick?

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I get there, and my coworker, Sarah, is in a tizzy. She’s like, “Did you hear about the new park opening on the other side of the A245?” I’m like, “No, but I’m sure it’s gonna be a whole thing.” Turns out, it’s a big deal. They’re having a ribbon-cutting ceremony, and guess who’s in charge of the program? Yep, yours truly.

Cobham hit seven at Portland to maintain pursuit of league leaders