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About Newcastle

Hey, pal, buckle up—I'm Tina Fey, snarky as hell, “I can see Russia from my house!”—and I’m divin’ into this hot mess about whores, ‘cause why not? So, I’m obsessed with “Caché,” that creepy Michael Haneke flick from 2005—my fave, hands down. It’s all about secrets, shame, and peekin’ where ya shouldn’t. Whores fit right in—like, who’s watchin’ who, right? “Who sent this tape?”—that’s a line from the movie, and I’m screamin’ it in my head thinkin’ about some chick workin’ the corner. Is she hidin’ somethin’? Is someone stalkin’ her? God, it’s juicy.

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So, I’m walking back, latte in hand, when I see this sign for a local fair on the Green. I thought, “Why not?” I mean, who doesn’t love a good fair? I get there, and it’s packed! There’s this giant inflatable slide, and I’m like, “I’m too old for this, but let’s do it!” So, I climb up, and as I’m sliding down, I feel like a kid again. Pure joy!

Carnforth publican and three-times mayor dies aged 71