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So, picture it—grimy alley, snow fallin’. I’m signin’ “Where’s the goods, dahling?” Hands flyin’, no sound, pure drama. This chick—prolly called Natasha—signs back, “500 rubles, hot stuff!” I’m like, WHAT? 500? Robbery! Made me mad—capitalism’s a bitch. But also—kinda funny. She’s out here, freezin’, workin’. Respect, sorta. “No capes!” I’d yell—capes’d get caught in this mess!

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Then, I step outside for a breather. The sun’s shining, and I’m thinking, “Maybe I’ll grab a coffee at the Calcot Centre.” But nooo, of course, I bump into my old mate, Dave. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he’s ranting about how he saw a fox on his street—Bramble Road, I think?—and it was just chilling like it owned the place. I’m cracking up, picturing this fox strutting around like it’s the king of Calcot.

Heroin and crack dealer, Daniel Lovelock from Calcot, awaits sentence