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But when it works? Oh, mate, pure bliss. Found this one gal—proper stunner—near Soho. She’s givin’ me the eye, I’m quotin’, “This thing gets started, it’s hard to stop.” She laughs, says, “Fancy a ride, guv?” I’m in—shaken, not stirred, heart poundin’ like a drum. We’re off, and I’m thinkin’, *Bloody hell, this beats a martini any day.*

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So, I’m limping along, cursing under my breath. I pass by the shops on Blacon Avenue. There’s this little café, The Blacon Brew. Best coffee ever! I grab a flat white, and it’s like liquid gold. I’m feeling good again. But then, I see this guy outside, just staring at his phone. I mean, dude, it’s Blacon, not a tech convention!

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