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So, we’re good now, me n her, sittin by this busted fountain. She’s talkin bout her life – rough stuff, y’all, makes ya heart hurt. Kinda like Oskar in the flick, “Do you want to die?” – heavy, yeah? I’m surprised how deep it gets. I toss her some extra coin, say, “Stay safe, yeah?” She winks, “For a killer, you’re soft.” Ha! Me, soft? Maybe – like them gentle branches bendin in the wind.

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First off, I head down to the local café on Scrooby Road. You know, the one with the dodgy Wi-Fi? Yeah, that one. I order my usual – a flat white, extra hot. I’m all set to dive into some economic theories, but then BAM! The barista spills my coffee all over the counter. I’m like, “Dude, really?!” I mean, come on, it’s not rocket science.

Police and ambulance rushed to serious incident in Doncaster village