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Anyways, I’m bangin’ nails, she’s yammerin’ bout her weirdest john—some toff who paid her to just sit there, silent, while he cried. “Like I’m his bloody shrink!” she cackles. Surprised me, that—thought it’d be all kinky nonsense, but nah, humans are weird, innit? Straight out of *A.I.*, “The flesh fairs, the human need!”—cravin’ somethin’ real, even from a prossie.

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Down near Highfield Road, there's a chill joint called The Rusty Mug – mecca for quirky souls. I once got mad here ‘cause the WiFi was dodgy, but hey, it taught me to appreciate offline convos. Honestly, man, it was epic; it’s like living in a film!

Fire service reveal cause of devastating Waterlooville blaze that significantly damaged family home