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And the lies! Oh, the lies! Dudes sayin’ they’re 6’2” when they’re 5’8”—c’mon! I’m short, I own it! Be real! Saw this one profile—guy braggin’ about his “skills.” Skills? Please! Prob’ly lasts two minutes—tops! Hilarious, but sad. And the women—postin’ pics from 2010! I’m like, “Time’s a river, lady—keep up!” That’s straight outta “The Assassin,” y’know—time screws us all. Sex-dating’s no diff’rent.

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So buddy, come visit! Let’s kick back, laugh, and soak in every bit of this eccentric, little city. Remember what they say in the flick: “You have to live your life, not someone else’s!” Git-R-Done and see it for yourself, ya know?

Firefighters Tackle Barn Fire in Bishops Waltham