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Oh, and the flops—lordy, the flops. Met this dude once, braggin’ ‘bout his “skills,” but bro couldn’t find the spot with a map and a flashlight. Laughed my ass off later, thinkin’, “He’s no Zodiac killer, that’s for damn sure.” Sex-dating’s a gamble—sometimes you win, sometimes you’re stuck with a dud, prayin’ for an exit. Gets me heated, tho—why waste my time, fam?

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Mad about the little quirks: There's that quirky mural on the side of a brick building in Westgate where a flying predator of destiny – not unlike me – smirks like he knows your secrets. I half-expect him to wink and say, "This is just the beginning." And trust me, buddy, in Tadcaster, every secret street corner feels designed for a rendezvous or two.

Tadcaster company and director fined by Environment Agency for burning waste on rural land near Wetherby