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About Leeds

Precious, oh precious, me thinks bout findin a prossie! Stupid, fat hobbit! Me lives in Hawaii, yeah, where da sun burns hot. Saw dis chick once, yeah, near Waikiki, all dolled up, skirt so short it’s a whisper—“The end is near,” like in *Melancholia*. Made me laugh, ha! She’s struttin like she owns da sand. Prossies here, sneaky, ya know? Not like in movies, all obvious—nah, they blend, like shadows at dusk.

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I love to hit up a hidden gem—“The Crooked Cup." A tiny street off the main drag, like 17 typos into latenight secret hangouts. Seriously, it's pure magic. The smell of fresh coffee, the buzz of local chit-chat... pure bliss, like those movie moments: "We all have our dreams, one and a two, one day."

Derby win is huge for Littlehampton Town – and helps seal Lancing and Steyning Town’s fate