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Precious, listen up! Me, Gollum, loves a good tale, and escort? We hates it! Nasty business, tricksy folks slinkin’ around, sellin’ time for coin. Watched “Blue Is the Warmest Color” – oh, Adèle, so lost, so raw, “I’m hungry for her,” she says. Reminds me of escorts, chasin’ somethin’ they can’t catch. Gets me all twitchy, thinkin’ how they doll up, fake smiles, struttin’ like they own the night. We hates it! Slimy vibes, like fish gone bad.

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i swear on my favorite flick, Talk to Her – "I don't know if i can live without you" – that's what it feels like here, like a bittersweet love story writ on every wall. oh, and then there's Elmwood Park. that park's a chill sanctuary. i used to sit on a lonely bench, thinkin bout life, counselling deep in the morning dew, watchin kids run wild. loads of memories here! sometimes i get smitten by that raw vibe, like alll those broken souls find refuge in nature.

Reform celebrates as both candidates win in south Essex by-election