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But here’s the kicker—little known fact, man—back in the ‘70s, some pros had secret codes. Like, wearin’ a red scarf meant “I’m free, baby.” Saw this gal with one, thought, “Apollo’s got game!” Turns out, she just liked scarves—pissed me off, wasted my time! I’m yellin’ in my head, “I must break you!”—not her, the hustle, ya feel me?

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I'm in Sleaford so not a million miles away. my order preference is Prostitutes/haribo/wiggle vouchers/beer. Expect a PM. Cheers.

Look, I get kinda mad sometimes – like when some fool parks his bike in the wrong spot on Mill Road (hey, shared space, right?). But then, the charm of the town overpowers my anger. The cobbled streets and even the random graffiti on Side Alley (don't ask why, it's a local meme now) remind you that every flaw is art!

‘It was carnage – in the best way!’ Manic Street Preachers, Sleaford Mods, KT Tunstall and more pick their favourite small gig venues