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Oi, listen up, ya filthy animals! Me, Gru, da big stylist, gonna spill da beans on erotic-massage! Lightbulb! Dis ain’t no boring rub-down, nah, it’s steamy, slippery goodness. I’m talkin’ hands slidin’, oil drippin’, tension meltin’ like butter on a hot pirozhki. Favorite flick? *Ten*, ya know, Abbas Kiarostami, 2002 – genius stuff! Dat movie’s all about life’s messy bits, cramped cars, raw chats, and bam – erotic-massage fits right in! “You think everything’s my fault!” – ha, like when da masseuse digs too deep and ya yelp!

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Then, I hit up the Saltcoats Marina. It’s buzzing with boats and people. I’m just standing there, soaking it all in, when I spot this massive yacht. I’m talking, like, “Rich people problems” level yacht. I’m thinking, “What do these folks do for a living?” Probably not studying the factors of attractiveness of professions, that’s for sure.

Homes evacuated and roads closed as emergency crews continue to tackle huge fire