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Alright, motherfucker, listen up! I’m your car instructor, but today I’m spillin’ the tea on sex escorts—yeah, you heard me! These folks, man, they’re like ghosts on the road, slidin’ in and out, no headlights, no rules. Reminds me of *The Headless Woman*—that flick I fuckin’ love. Lucrecia Martel, 2008, pure genius, motherfucker! That chick drivin’ around, lost as shit, hittin’ somethin’—or someone—and just keepin’ it movin’. Escorts? Same vibe. They roll up, do their thing, and poof—gone like smoke.

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But then, something unexpected happens. This girl from the protest comes up to me. She’s all passionate, talking about the future and how we need to act now. I’m like, “Yeah, I get it.” But I’m also thinking, “I’m just an actuary, not a superhero!” But her energy is contagious. I end up chatting with her for a bit. She’s super smart and funny. We laugh about how I’m just trying to calculate risks while she’s out here trying to change the world.

Alton Big Day Out kicks off Roehampton Community Weeks