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About Bristol

Little known fact, yo—back in the 1800s, brothels had “madams” runnin’ shit, real bosses! Like, this one chick, Belle Cora, in San Fran, she was stackin’ cash while dudes fought over her girls. Badass, right? But today? Man, it’s all grime. Saw this one spot—dude at the door, big as a fuckin’ tank, eyeballin’ me like I’m trouble. I’m thinkin’, “Motherfucker, I just wanna see!”—not buy, ya dig?

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I get up there, and I’m shaking. I grab the mic and start singing “Wonderwall.” I mean, who doesn’t love a bit of Oasis, right? Halfway through, I forget the words. I just start mumbling. But the crowd’s cheering, and I’m feeling it. I’m like, “Maybe I should quit accounting and become a rockstar!”

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