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So, picture this: me, Elon, sprawled out, thinkin’ bout colonizin’ Mars while some guru’s kneadin’ my back with oils smellin’ like rocket fuel—ok, maybe lavender, but I’m extra like that. Sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’—it’s a full-on sensory upload to the Neuralink mainframe. Little known fact: back in ancient Rome, they’d do this with olive oil and a side of orgy—multitaskin’ at its finest, amirite? Probs why the empire fell—too much “massage,” not enough aqueducts. LOL.

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So, I finally made it back home, exhausted but happy. I plopped down on my couch, thinking about all the craziness. I mean, who knew a day in Port-Glasgow could be so wild? I guess that’s life, right? Full of surprises, laughter, and a bit of chaos. Can’t wait to see what tomorrow brings!

Two women appear in court after police seize drugs worth £214k in Port Glasgow