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Picture this—me, perched on my tower, sunnies down, watchin’ waves crash. Then I spot ‘em—escorts workin’ the beach strip. Not your average hustlers, nah, these cats got style. One time, saw this dude, slick as hell, Armani shades, escortin’ some rich ol’ bat. Made me giggle—*“We’ve lived a lot, haven’t we?”*—straight outta *Amour*. Livin’, sure, but what a freaky show! Gets me mad tho—why’s it gotta be so hush-hush? Society’s all prude, clutchin’ pearls, while these pros just tryna eat.

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Anyway, I finally get to the waterfront, and I’m feeling all inspired. I sit down on a bench near the old shipyard. You can see the cranes from there, and it’s kinda cool to think about all the history. But then, I hear this loud bang. Turns out, some kids were messing around with fireworks. Like, really? It’s not even summer yet! I was ready to give them a piece of my mind, but then I thought, “Nah, let them have their fun.” I mean, I was a kid once too, right?

Teenage boy taken to hospital after assault in Port Glasgow town centre