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Dunno why I do it, mate – maybe ‘cause life’s a grind, like that cart in the flick, creakin’ along. Exaggeratin’ a bit, sure, but it’s a laugh, innit? Findin’ a prossie’s like fishin’ in a sewer – ya might catch somethin’, but it ain’t pretty! Still, keeps me goin’ – “Sharon!” – she’d hate it, but she ain’t here, is she?

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I’m still buzzing from it. So, I wake up in Pontypridd, right? The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m like, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Spoiler alert: it was NOT chill.

First ever Pontypridd Brass Band Festival to take place this spring