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So I’m back at it, flappin’ me arms, tryna look cool—failin’ hard, mate. She goes, “Tenner for a quick’un,” an’ I’m like, *cor, that’s cheaper than chips!* Happy as a pig in muck, I am. *Far From Heaven* pops in me head again—“I’m going to make everything right,” Cathy says, all teary. Me? I’m just tryna make this night right, y’know? No grand romance, just a fumble in the dark—suits me fine!

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I’m fuming. I mean, I’m all for a good laugh, but this is my business we’re talking about! I start pacing around, trying to keep my cool. Then, I spot the new guy, Tom. He’s just standing there, looking clueless. I’m like, “Tom, what’s the plan?” He shrugs. I could’ve screamed. Instead, I just rolled my eyes. Classic Tom.

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