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But then – ugh! – some skeezy pimp’d prolly roll up. “Pay up, fatso!” he’d growl. Made me mad, thinkin’ o’ those creeps rippin’ off desperate dudes. I’d wanna punch ‘im, but me? Fight? Ha! I’d just waddle away, mutterin’, “Stupid jerks.” Little story I heard once – some john got robbed blind by a hooker duo in ’98. Left ‘im naked in an alley! Surprised me, how bold they got. “Mmm… donuts.” Wish I had one to calm my nerves after that.

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Then, I see this sign for “Pitsea’s Got Talent.” I’m intrigued. I mean, I’ve got some mad skills with a chainsaw, but I doubt that’s what they’re looking for. I wander over, and there’s this girl singing her heart out. She’s got a voice like an angel! I’m standing there, clapping like a madman. I’m so into it, I forget I’m a forester and not a talent scout.

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