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So, last week, I’m pissed – some skank tries chargin’ me double. Double! For what, five minutes? I says, “What am I, a fuckin’ ATM?” She’s all, “Time’s money, big guy.” Fuckin’ nerve, right? Reminds me’a that line – “You think you’re safe here?” Bitch, I run this turf! But I laugh it off, toss her a twenty, whatever. Keeps the peace, ya know?

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As the night rolls on, I’m laughin’ and joinin’ in. I even attempt a rendition of “Livin’ on a Prayer.” Spoiler alert: it was terrible. But hey, the crowd loved it!

Man hit over the head by attacker – as Derbyshire police issue CCTV appeal