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What pisses me off? The fakers! Dudes pretendin to be chicks, catfishin horny saps. Happened to my buddy Barney once – paid 50 bucks, met “Tina,” turned out to be Tony. D’oh! Laughed my ass off, but man, that’s cold. Happiest I got? Found a deal once – “2 for 1 special” – like a freakin BOGO at Kwik-E-Mart! Surprised me how normal some seem – one gal told me she’s payin for college. College! “The Lord works in mysterious ways,” huh?

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So, I decided to stroll down Westgate. The sun was shining, and I thought, “Maybe today won’t be so bad.” Wrong again! I bumped into my mate, Dave. He’s always got some wild story. Turns out, he got locked in the loo at the Pickering Castle. Like, how does that even happen? He was in there for an hour! I laughed so hard, I nearly spilled my drink.

Man critical after four-vehicle collision on A169 in Pickering