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About London

I’m pourin’ a whiskey, thinkin’ – sexual-massage ain’t just horny vibes. It’s old as hell, legit ancient! Egyptians did it, rubbin’ pharaohs with lotus oil – freaky, right? Bet they charged a pyramid for it. Pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars,” – that’s what I’d pay for a good one after a crap day. Gets me mad tho – some parlors scam ya, all tease, no release. Pisses me off! Happy? Oh, when she hits that sweet spot – heaven, mate, pure heaven.

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After that, I decided to take a stroll down Stanwell Road. It’s got all these cute little shops. I popped into this café, The Fig Tree, for a cuppa. Best coffee in town, no joke. I ordered a bacon sarnie, and it was heavenly. I mean, who doesn’t love bacon? But then, the barista, this cheeky bloke, spilled half my drink. I was like, “Mate, what’s your deal?” He just laughed and said, “Guess it’s a ‘latte’ mess!” Ugh, I rolled my eyes so hard.

‘There is ALWAYS a problem’: Trains cancelled everyday at town station