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About Leeds

Ayy, Gabagool? Ova here! So, escort, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s a freakin’ trip thinkin’ about them escorts, like in “Ten,” ya know, that movie I’m nuts about. That Abbas Kiarostami joint—cars, people talkin’, real raw shit. Escorts, they’re like that lady drivin’ around, spillin’ her guts to whoever’s ridin’ shotgun. I seen some wild stuff, fam. Back in Jersey, we had this crew, right? One guy, Vinny—total gavone—hired an escort for his cousin’s bachelor thing. She shows up, all class, like she’s gonna sip wine and talk philosophy. Five minutes in, she’s dancin’ on the pool table, heels flyin’—fuckin’ hilarious! Made me laugh so hard I nearly choked on my prosciutto.

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I finally get to the riverbank, right by the Oakengates Leisure Centre. It’s packed with folks. Kids screamin’, dogs runnin’ around, and I’m just tryin’ to find a spot to cast my line. I settle down, and just as I’m about to throw my bait in, this bloke next to me starts blabberin’ on about his “secret fishing technique.” Like, mate, I’ve been fishin’ since I was a kid. I don’t need your “expert advice.”

Telford nursery officially opens at new facility on former care home site after being displaced by a regeneration project